The BrainSnare Boys have done it again. BS Productions, a wholly owned subsidy of BrainSnare, is honored to present GHM. And our culinary partner, The Happy Kitchen, is proud to uphold the decade long tradition of hosting this year’s gathering: The 10th annual Great Halloween Meeting on October 26 2014.
The Official GHM Meal Card … Don’t Leave Home Without It!
Priceless … That’s right. This coveted card, sought by many, but only held by one, assures priceless meals for all those who join the bearer during the GHM gastronomic festivities. Come one, come all, and gather around the bountiful buffet. Feast to your heart’s content, until you can no longer see your own belt, or your LDL-c exceeds mortal limits.
QED Network’s chief correspondent Enda Proof caught up with up with Edmond Bearski et al (one of the three GHM co-founders) on July 16 2014 at the sold-out SCAB national convention in Las Vegas. Bearski was rather characteristically tight-lipped about the approaching GHM event in October. More secretive than a typical Apple unveiling, Bearski was asked to provide a hint about this year’s GHM schedule. Known worldwide for its extravagant galas, GHM provides a unique venue for its devoted followers. Proof politely taunted Bearski by saying, “It’s well known that this year’s celebration will be the largest meeting ever held in its ten year history. Can you share even the smallest teasing tidbit of information for your followers?” After a long, pregnant pause, Bearski quipped, “Yes I can.”
It should be pointed out that not a single syllabic secret exited Bearski’s mouth after that three-word response. So yes, I guess he can … but he clearly won’t.
Proof then moved her mic and attention to Rogon “The Rev” Poundstein, second of the trio of GHM co-founders.
“As the insanely successful SCAB national convention winds down here in Vegas,” Proof began, “is the phenomenal SCAB turn-out a predictor of this year’s GHM in October?”
Poundstein responded, “Theologically speaking: God knows that our decision to pick SCAB for our Vegas venue exceeded our collective imagination, beyond all measures. Despite this, or perhaps just because of it, our expectations for GHM in October are already proving to be grossly underestimated. For example, tickets for GHM are simply not available and it’s still 3 months away!”
“Congratulations are certainly in order Rogon,” Proof inserted, “but can you provide a glimpse into what this year’s GHM has in store for its attendees?”
“Let me say this: et contemplabor ut videam,” teased Rogon as he parted with a smirk.
Exasperated by her lack of success but undeterred to keep grilling and drilling, Proof turned to face the final GHM co-founder Mitch “Ryder” Wheeling. But at that same moment, Kat Shrodinger approached the group from beyond Proof.
“Well hey, Kat!,” Wheeling shouted and signaled her to join the group. “I haven’t seen you in forever … didn’t know if you were dead or alive. Please come join us.”
As Kat made her way to the group, Proof couldn’t help but notice that Shrodinger was sporting a brand new pair of trendy Dox shoes.
Momentarily disoriented by this female fashion emergency, “Are those really Dox?,” Proof blurted out as all eyes focused on Schrodinger’s footwear.
“Sure is … my pair o’ Dox,” Shrodinger proudly offered.
As Shrodinger settled in, Proof recomposed herself and once again faced Wheeling to continue the interview.
Proof opened the volley. “It’s been often reported Mitch that, of the three of you, you’re perhaps the most challenged of the troop. Any morsel of truth to that?”
Wheeling paused, and then responded, “Well, I feel that I have to take a tissue with that, Enda. But if you mean intellectually challenged, then I suppose it’s true. But only where my thoughts are concerned.”
Having made her point effortlessly, Proof changed topics. “It’s not widely known how the three of you got together initially. There’s got to be a story there. So how did you all meet?”
“Well, I suppose it was due to two reasons: fate and transportation. Yes, there was quite a bit of transportation involved that allowed us to get together.” Wheeling’s voice trailed off.
“Beyond that, are there some details to share?” Proof added.
“Well, Rogon and Eddy — I call them that because that’s their names — they were already friends in high school. They went to the same high school on Long Island back when they were in high school together. Me, I went to a different high school together with them in Massachusetts. But later, Rogon and I were roommates in college. He was learning very big words like ‘phenomenological’, and I was learning small words like ‘id’. Sometimes, we’d learn the same words together like ‘modus ponens’ when we took the same class. Together. Anyway, a truly important time for me was when Eddy visited us in college. Seeing Rogon and Eddy together made me realize how very smart these two guys were. Rogon with his big words, and Eddy was using really big words too, sometimes even in court. I wanted to be just like them. And then a magical thing happened. We had this plastic red bird on a long spring. We placed it in front of the dorm window, and then took turns beating the living crap out of it until it rapidly disassembled itself. It was great fun, and we all became great friends after that. It was at that time that we all had the same identical thought, at the same moment in time. We knew that we’d invent GHM, PHLEGM, and SCAB. Unfortunately, we didn’t realize we had this thought until 32 years later.”
“Thanks so much for sharing,” Proof interjected, hoping to draw the interview to a close.